I need someone to show me how to eat. I mean really eat and not think about it and be okay with that. I can’t remember how to eat, just like if you focus on your breathing, you can’t breathe normally anymore.
mha-pauline asked: Hi, I run a blog called mental-health-advice. We help with all sorts of issues ranging from self harm to eating disorders to relationship and sexuality issues. It would really really mean the world to us if you could follow/post this for your followers, so we can help even more people. But, make sure that if you do follow, it is on mental-health-advice rather than this (my admin blog) Thanks in advance, Pauline
No problem. Followers ^^
It’s either going to kill you or you are going to kill it. There is no surviving as a tortured soul trapped in a failing body. You have to choose recovery. You can choose it. You will make it.
That’s so cool of you
How you turn my deep, dark fears
Into little jokes
I wasn’t trying to
Lead you on, so, sorry bout
That. Oh, well, fuck you.
The scariest part of my illness has not been the hospital stays, the doctors asking me if I wanted to die or the days when I couldn’t bring myself to get up. Nor was it the year I was totally consumed by irrational thoughts. The scariest point was when I stepped on the scale, when I caught myself in the mirror and say, for a brief moment, my mind wasn’t disordered and I saw the impossibly low number, the skeleton staring back at me. Because it was in those moments I realized how helpless and out of control I had become. And the even scarier moment came after, when I slipped back into the fog and continued to throw myself towards destruction. Pure fear is seeing the train barreling down the track, straight for you,and thinking you need to get off the railroad ties, but going right back to walking toward the whistling beast anyway.
As the night sets in
My soul darkens and then stops
I can’t help myself
I don’t really feel like eating anymore. I don’t really feel anything other than sad to be honest. And, it’s that crushing sadness that is hollowing my eyes.